


Heavy in Your Arms

by GirlDressedInBlack



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 23:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19896085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlDressedInBlack/pseuds/GirlDressedInBlack
Summary: They've always been a heavy weight to carry but never more so than now.





	Heavy in Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> God this turned out more angsty than I thought it would!

The Doctor remembers the weight of the Mistress in his arms then, tucked against his chest, mind floating in some strange fitful dream following the shock that had run through her. It had her waking up momentarily for a fraction of a second, mind reaching out for something it couldn't quite reach before falling back into itself.

A strange, dark and hungry sea frothing with madness.

That's what he'd thought of her as then.

She had been heavy enough to carry but the weight of what he'd done and what they'd agreed to seemed to weigh heavier upon him somehow.

One thousand years.

He'd looked down at her face, contorted by whatever was going through her head and wondered then if either of them could survive it.

* * *

Now is a strange and horrible parallel to then.

At least that is what she thinks as she scoops up her oldest friend, so still, from the flickering floor as the holographics die.

The cybermen hadn't had a clue what to do with her, their programing not having been created for Time Lord conversion and her already being-

The thought hurts the Doctor so she stops, biting her lip and pulling her friend into her chest, kissing her forehead which is even colder than normal.

If a few tears fall, slipping against the Mistress' pale skin, there's no one there to see them.

She holds her friend close, teeth gritted and lips thin as she tries to just hold back the tears enough to see the Tardis, the false trees around her, her face, her blue eyes, still open.

The Doctor falls instead, collapsing to her knees as the Mistress sprawls before her, lifeless and unnatural.

"You were never meant to do this! You can't do this!" The Doctor screams, fingers digging into the impression of forest floor. There's enough power left that she can just about imagine the grit of earth under her nails as she shouts at the corpse of the one she has always loved.

"You weren't supposed to be able to die! Why else would you have chosen that bloody stupid nickname!" The Doctor accuses her woman lying before her, motionless, eyes filmed over.

Exhausted, she lets herself stay there for a while, lets herself sob for a reality which never should have been possible, cradling her friend's head in her lap, kissing her cold forehead, her lips, closing her eyes.

Then she stands eventually and lifts her again, into her arms, against her chest.

"How could you?"

Her voice breaks as she asks the Mistress' lolling head one final question.

She takes her into the Tardis for the last time, barely registering the low lights and the absence of noise.

Never.

She'd never leave her behind again.


End file.
